Lenten Confessions:
This week I've been
traveling daily to St. Louis for training. I've made the trips to the other
side of the river many times. The majority of my IT career since I moved to
Illinois has been commuting to Missouri. This week has been different. Since I
started working at The Maschhoffs my commute has been easy going, unrushed,
peaceful. This week it is hectic, hurried, full of anxiety. I feel that things
are moving so fast, so out of my control that I lose focus on what is important
in my life. Traveling in Illinois makes me feel full of content, in tune with
God's plan, spiritual. I love it when I'm busy if I am the one that made things
busy. When I'm forced into an uncontrolled environment I feel insecure.
Obviously, I have a control issue. God has known this about me for a long time.
When I'm in control I feel God is in control of me. When I'm not in control I
don't know if God is driving me or other influences are at work. When I'm not
in control I act different. I say or do things that I question or sometimes
regret later. I don't like that feeling. I hate that behavior.
Lord, help me
remember what is important in my life. Remind me to slow down and think.
Encourage me to accept that I am not always in control of things around me but
I am always in control of myself. God, I long for our quiet time together
traveling the country roads. I desire the comfort in knowing you're near me.
Help me remember that you are always there for me, I just need to recognize it.
May the grace of God
be received by all.
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