On this day, the third Sunday in June, which is typically celebrated as Father's Day in the US, I often ask myself,
As I reflect on my many years as a father I am confused and perplexed with the true answer. There were and are times when the answer is an astounding YES. But to my embarrassment there are too many times when the answer is a hurtful NO. It's not from a lack of trying to do my best. There are times in my opinion that I just failed."Have you been a good father? Are you admired and respected by your children?"
I didn't grow up with a father in my life, he left when I was 4. I didn't meet him again until I was 17. I'm not blaming him for my faults. I'm merely stating that I didn't have a good example to follow. I did however have a great role model until the age of 9, my maternal grandfather. He was a bit older than most father/grandfathers and unfortunately was taken at the time that I could start learning them most about being the man I want to be today.When I became a father in 1984, I told myself that I would not desert my family, that I would be in their lives as long as I was on earth and hopefully beyond that time. I've tried to make the best out of the time I spent with my family. I tried to teach my children, and now my grandchild(en) not to make the same mistakes that haunted me during my childhood. So far so good I hope. Only my children can tell you how successful I've been. Now that I'm a Grandpa, I have a second chance to get it right again. Hopefully my mistakes are minimal and the successes abundant.
Unfortunately since the only example of being a father I learned was from TV, it has lead me down a faulty path. A 30 minute sitcom doesn't really explain the details of life like being tough, protective, and sensitive to your your child and their needs. It doesn't show you the pain you endure as your children make the same mistakes you did and you can't stop them. Sometimes you have to let them make the mistake so they can learn for themselves.Much to everyone's surprise, there is no book out there that has all the answers. There are hundreds with helpful tools but not one with all the answers. The only way to learn is to be a father. You'll make mistakes and you'll get things right. You'll become a momentary hero, and and instant flop. It's all part of life.
A Part of Life ~ Being a Father ~ Nothing Could be Better
I remember when the children were so young and inicent and always wanted to be at our center of attention. Even though we are getting older as the days go by I look at the children and what they have become I am proud of the job we have done. They are very self-sufficient but they are not afraid to ask for help if needed. As parents we are always there to help them.
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